Beyond Suffering

If I am not mistaken, lots of people seem to enjoy suffering, and I am certainly not excluding myself from this equation. I remember times when I've dragged myself consciously to a past memory and started crying, even if that memory doesn’t mean anything to me now. Do I love crying? Well, most women do. Maybe it is a way of releasing some emotions that needed to be released that haven't been completed in the releasing and healing process. I hope this is the case. Or perhaps it's simply the ups and down of my biological cycle that make me feel I am not in my body!

I am not giving myself excuses, but it happens to me, and I am sure it happens to men and woman regardless of the reason. The thing is after wiping my tears, I take myself consciously to a state where I feel happy and joyful about it, since I know that going down in unpleasant memories lower the vibration. After raising my vibration again I start laughing and telling myself how crazy I am for remembering these things. It is human nature, but the thing is, we need to detach from our pain to heal and to live an amazing life.

Once I was talking to a woman who had lost her child immediately after delivery. It happened about two years ago, and she is still suffering. She told me that the incident changed her life completely and she couldn’t forget it. She said that she had lost the taste of life and she felt that she was not happy anymore. She explained that she can't feel any emotions towards anything, even towards her lovely alive and healthy two kids. I tried to explain to her that she needed to detach to be able to be happy. Her answer was, “You don’t know the feeling, and no one can imagine how much I'm suffering”.

This woman was insisting that she should suffer, and she was giving herself good excuses for that. I am not suggesting that what she went through was easy, but it is one life experience that she should learn from, then release and allow the healing to occur.

In Caroline Myss' book, 'Why people don’t Heal', she mentioned that people attach themselves to the abuse or pain that happened to them and start dumping all their suffering on that event. People refuse to detach since they will lose the calming strategy for them, the big excuse for their suffering.

When I separated in 2017, I followed that pattern. I tried to dump all my misery on the separation, and I couldn’t stop talking about it. Yes, it caused me more pain than healing, and I don’t understand or know why I did that, even though the separation gave me the opportunity to live an amazing life. For the same reason, I understand why people enjoy being stuck in pain and talking about their suffering. It's important to keep in mind that you have one of two choices: detach and heal, then live and be happy. Or suffer and drag yourself through more pain.

Honestly, the equation is simple. You either use the energy to be happy and enjoy your life, or you can keep sending the energy to your wound and deprive your body from energy and cause a mental or physical illness to manifest in your body.

Suffering happens to us, to teach us, to liberate us. It is a tool to teach us how to nail it in life and live fully.

Zahra'a Lafal

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